Wanted: Loving home for handsome, sweet, affectionate, vocal, disobedient, in-serious-need-of-a-Cesar-Milan-intervention doggie.

Just kidding. Well, sort of. Actually, the only reason that I'm kidding is because I mentioned to my mom, in front of Catalina, that I was sending Doc-dog home to Arkansas with her. Catalina immediately said, with tears in her eyes, "Mama, you were just kidding, right? You wouldn't send Doc to live with another family because he is part of our family. Right?" Hmph, now I guess we're stuck with him.

Honestly, I don't know if I could ever really give him away, even to my own parents, but he sure did make me mad on Monday. It was Louie's first day back at work and my mom was leaving the next day, so I was emotional to begin with. And, it's not all Doc's fault. It was just a bad morning.

Anyway, so, we were all ready and walking out the front door to take Catalina to school, when Doc snuck out and made a mad dash for the street. He was gone like a lightening bolt and there's no stopping him when that happens. We all piled into the car and after about 15 minutes of following him, he stopped for a breath and I grabbed him by his tail and dragged him to the car. This because he doesn't come when you call him, naturally.

We get Catalina to school, no problem, and go back home. Bibi puts an Elmo video on for the boys and I let the dogs out in the backyard. I glance back out about three minutes later to see Doc fervently rolling around in something in the backyard. If you have a dog, then you probably know that this is never a good sign...it's usually something very, very stinky. Sure enough, I go out to find that he has rolled in poop and has it ground into the hair on the top of his head and back, nevermind the fact that his collar is completely ruined.

Thankfully, Bibi was there to watch the boys, allowing me to give Doc his much-needed bath. And, since I hadn't had a shower in three days, I decided to take a shower myself while I was at it. Gussy decides at this very moment that he needs me more than he ever has in his life and pitches a fit, screaming and crying, pressed up against the shower glass in my bathroom, begging to come into the shower with me and Doc. He wants nothing to do with Bibi and, just to add to the excitement, he has a dirty diaper.

Louie calls at this point to check-in on me and Bibi is able to lure Gussy off the floor of our bathroom by telling him that Papa wants to say "Hello." Okay, things are looking up. I have thoroughly cleaned Doc twice and I am now clean myself. I call Louie back for a little peptalk, hang up the phone and go to the family room to check on Bibi and the boys. I turn the corner just in time to see Gussy pushing baby Max to the ground. Not the time to do this, son. After the morning I just had, I really just let loose on him. I snatched Max up, popped Gus on the bottom, and yelled, "No pushing!" Now, that's plenty of punishment when it comes to Gussy. He is sensitive and he and I are attached-at-the-hip, so usually if I give him some harsh words, he's saying "Sorry" and bursting into tears. Well, I had just had it at this point, so, Max on my hip, I dragged Gussy by the arm to sit in time-out. And, just as I rounded the corner out of the family room, I banged Max's head on the door frame.

Gussy's hysterical. Max is hysterical. I leave Gus in time-out and head back to the family room to check on Max's head. As he's screaming, I noticed that he has just cut a tooth. I choose this opportunity to run my finger along his gums. He, being hysterical, throws his head forward and I move my hand just in time for him to bang his head on the edge of the coffee table. Immediately, a red, swollen mark pops up between his eyes, which is always a fun place to hit yourself. At this point, I lost it and joined the boys in their hysteria. I was so upset that I couldn't even hold him, I was trying to pawn him off on Bibi. She hands him back and goes to get ice. He didn't want the ice, of course, so I ask her to run and get Gus out of time-out and then bring a bottle. Gus is still crying and wants to sit in my lap, too. Luckily, the bottle calms Max down, at which point I loose it again. "I'm a bad mother." "I'm the worst." "How am I ever going to do this?" So, my mom starts in crying with me, as Gus decides that he would like to stand up on the arm of the sofa and jump over me and Max to get to Bibi. Somehow, Bibi and I, with our cat-like reflexes, grabbed his arms and legs and lowered him down without hurting Max, but it was definitely a close call.

At this point, I'm exhausted and all in the world I really need is a Diet Coke. You need to understand my love of Diet Coke to really get what happens next. It's serious. Anyway, so Bibi brings me an good, cold Diet Coke, I crack it open, close my eyes, put it to my lips (or so I thought) and spilled it all down the front of my shirt. It made a nice fizzing sound, just to add to the effect.

As you can imagine, after all of this, I looked at my mom and we burst into the longest and most enjoyable laughter that I can possibly remember!

So, as you can see, it wasn't just Doc's fault, but it's nice when you can put the blame on someone else. Especially when that someone else has been chewing up the lights and ornaments on your Christmas tree.